The Dreaded Skirted Bathing Suit

Today I considered joining our neighborhood "country club". It's not large or prestigious, but it has a pool and a small fitness area. More importantly, it is essentially in my backyard. No excuse not to work out!

Danielle and I went over this morning to check it out. The pool was pleasant although, like the club itself, not large. There were a dozen families with young children playing in or around the pool. To my surprise, a lot of the mothers were in bikinis.

I know that there are women who have never harbored a malicious thought about women who are richer, thinner or prettier than they are. I'm not one of them. 

My first uncensored, uncharitable thoughts included, "Trophy wife....those can't be her NATURAL breasts (or even her children...)" 

Even when I was young I was never extremely thin. Some people are naturally ectomorphs with small frames and lean muscle mass; some of us are endomorphs with softer, rounder bodies. I was over 120 pounds at my lightest adult weight. "Size zero" didn't exist in the 1980s. I think the smallest size was a 4/6 or 5/7. Of course, sizes- like styles- change.

The current "size zero" in the US system is equivalent to a UK size 4 -- with a waist measurement of 23 inches, the average girth of an 8-year-old girl. Depending on height, being a "size zero" may linked to anorexia nervosa and bulimia.  A healthy body mass index (BMI) for an adult woman is between 18.5 and 25. An index of less than 18.5 is considered underweight.

I know that my BMI is 23.5 - within normal range for a woman. Still, the vision of those 20-something, skinny moms, bouncing playfully in the pool leaves me a bit sad.  I'm not in love with my mature body. No matter how many tummy minimizers I try on or how hard I suck in my stomach I am a middle-aged woman.

I have to accept everything that life has brought me as the years that have gone by, even a little paunch and some sagging skin. As one friend pointed out, the paunch is from having babies and I don't regret my kids for a minute. In fact, Danielle tells me that she loves to snuggle on my "squishy tummy." And sagging... well, that's gravity. Can't fight that.

I think it is more important to feel good about yourself and your body -- and dress to suit yourself -- than to try to attain an artificial ideal. If we can embrace beauty in all colors of skin, why can't we embrace beauty in all sizes and ages as well? I intend to march confidently, beautifully onto that pool deck and make friends with the bikini mommies. After all, they might benefit from a Mother Figure.

Which brings me to the dreaded, skirted bathing suit. This summer I officially became a matron. I  purchased the hideous bathing suit with a "tummy minimizer" and a skirt designed to mask the flaws of my aging body. Or, at least, not gross anyone out. I'm pretty sure that my father threw out several just like it after my Mom passed away.