The Santa Claus Syndrome

What is it about a mall Santa Claus that turns parents into idiots?  We've all seen it - the crying children with the parents desperately pleading for a smile.  One of the funniest Christmas cards I've ever received was from my friend Kerrianne. It featured her adorable twin girls sitting on Santa's lap - each lunging in opposite directions with looks of terror on their faces. Fall on the floor funny. However, the kids will probably be in therapy some day.

Just Google "santa with scared children" and you'll come up with hundreds of images.  Here are some of the funniest I've found. http://www.bite.ca/bitedaily/2010/12/top-10-photos-of-traumatized-kids-on-santas-lap/

Have you ever seen the famous Santa Claus scene in the 1983 movie, A Christmas Story? If you haven't seen it, spend three minutes to watch this YouTube clip. It sums up the basic insanity of lining children up to sit on a strange man's lap. Any other time of year we'd drag our kids away as quickly as possible.

Santa arrived at our local mall on Sunday. I accidentally witnessed it. I was on the second level with Danielle & one of her little friends so we could look down as Santa rode a tiny train through the mall. I thought it was charming. The two kids were terrified. The literally covered their ears and hid behind me. So much for photos with Santa this year - guess I just saved 20 bucks.

Other, less emotionally volatile kids, were lined up to be among the first to see Santa. I was horrified by how some of them were dressed. I wished I'd been able to sneak out my camera phone so you could see some of the hideous things these poor children were forced into. Kevin said I should have boldly walked up and said,"Your daughter's outfit is so distinct, unique (substitute your own superlative...) Do you mind if I take a picture to show my Mom?"

I'm torn between which was worse - the 3 or 4 year old boy forced to wear a green velvet little Lord Fauntleroy suit (cringe) or the 7 or  8 year old girl who was apparently wearing her mother's vintage 1970s Christmas outfit complete with white leather jazz oxfords. This poor unfortunate child was dressed in nifty black and white checked overalls with a large Santa applique and a red turtleneck.  I'm hoping that there was a family tradition or at least a funny story to explain this sartorial disaster. At five Danielle has enough fashion sense to fight her way out of such an atrocious outfit. Honestly, people, these were bad looks way back when. Trust me, they have not improved with time.

My thought for the day," Going to see Santa is scary enough,

don't add to the horror by dressing your children like demented elves."

If the Shoe Fits...

I saw my first pair of Manolo Blahniks yesterday. They were casually tossed just inside the door of my sister-in-law's million dollar home. And they were lovely. I should have taken a picture. Hell, I should have put them on and danced around her foyer just to say I'd worn a pair.

Until that moment I thought they were only something Carrie on Sex in the City would buy. I've never seen a $715 pair of shoes in real life. Or, if I have I never knew it. When you're wearing them your foot covers the label. As far as I could tell they might as well have come from Payless.

I have seen articles about shoes that cost $100,000. My first house cost only a little bit more than that! I'd like to think that even if I had millions of dollars I wouldn't waste it that way. There are so many places and people in the world in dire need. Given the choice I'd still buy cheap shoes and donate the surplus to charity. Of course, that's easy to say when its strictly hypothetical. Maybe if I had that much money I'd feel as if I deserved to keep it all for myself. However, I still doubt that I would spend it on shoes. I'm a girl for whom shoes are a necessity not a luxury. Given the choice I'd go barefoot or wear sneakers.

Fashion was a subject of great concern yesterday. The unspoken pressure to keep up with, or at least not be looked down on by, the wealthiest family members permeates the atmosphere when the female members of the family are together. Talk turns to who gets their hair styled weekly, who gets a regular mani/pedi and where the best stores are. Even the directions to the house used Talbots as a major landmark instead of say, the Wompatuck State Park, which has such a funny name you can't mistake it.

In the face of this pervasive peer pressure I bought new outfit which ironically didn't fit due to my recent dieting success. I shrugged and succumbed to my ubiquitous summer wardrobe staples - shorts and a tank top with a pair of Croc sandals. Notice how I mentioned the brand? For me, Crocs are relatively high-end. I have shoes from Target. I'm not ashamed.

Crocs can be cute. They have a nice line of sandals that look better than the standard plastic clogs. They even have sexy ankel strap styles. And, my highest priority, they are comfortable. I like them because I can wear them to the beach or the pool. If they get wet, whether its from the sprinkler or a red wine spill, they wipe clean. They don't stain or stretch. They are, for a stay at home mom, a great compromise between fashion and function. And for less than $40 they are a bargain.

Still, I feel the pressure. I would have worn the new, brand name clothes if they had fit. The pressure was most noticeable with my youngest niece. Her mother had insisted that she wear a fancy dress since it was a family party. When they arrived her other cousins were wearing cute, stylish shorts outfits. My heart went out to her, having been forced to wear ugly itchy dresses to family events when I was a child. Her parents took pity on her and her father took her on a mission of mercy to Old Navy. She returned, happily wearing a logo- emblazoned T-shirt, madras shorts and a pair of leopard flip flops. She looked adorable - more, she looked self-confident.

It's funny how clothes can impact our self-esteem. She looked very pretty in the dress her mother had chosen, but she didn't look right. The dress made her the odd one out which is always uncomfortable. At my age I can (almost) ignore peer pressure, but at twelve its impossible. My parents would have made me suck it up and stay in the dress.

I know that her parents are financially conservative. They don't spend money without consideration. Still, most of us remember feeling awkward or left out because we didn't have whatever "the" trendy item was. We all want our children to be happy.  How do you balance your values with your child's happiness? Parenting is full of tough choices and every single one comes with consequences.

I was happy that her parents sensed her discomfort and bailed her out. I think they handled it perfectly. They didn't rush right out to the high end Abercrombie & Fitch down the street so she could have the same clothes that her cousins were wearing. Old Navy was a cost effective compromise given the stores in the area. Not that I'm an advocate of buying things to solve problems or enhance self-esteem. I think in the future the cousins should text or email each other so they dress similarly, not identically, but so that they can all play volleyball if that's on the agenda.

Maybe my parents' uncompromising stand on trends helped me develop my devil my care attitude toward fashion. And maybe that attitude has helped with my sense of self-esteem. Since I was rarely dressed "right" I developed the ability to ignore fashion. I learned to feel pretty regardless of what I was wearing. However, if that was completely true my feet wouldn't have itched to get into those Manolos...

"Take the course opposite to custom and you will almost always do well. ” — Jean Jacques Rousseau.  If only that were true of fashion as well!