Wallpapering War Stories

or as a friend subtitled it, "The Glue always wins."

When we were looking for a house I kept describing this as "the house with the palm tree wallpaper." The owners were from Savannah and apparently quite homesick. Maybe plastering the house with palm trees made them feel more at home. There were palm trees in the master bathroom, palm trees in the hall bathroom, lots and lots of palm trees in the dining room...

And there still are.

I am the least girly of girls. My mother reupholstered furniture and sewed new pillows for each season. The decorating (and the do-it-yourself) gene skipped a generation. I don't decorate rooms; I inhabit them. I am more interested in comfort than style.

However, I hate wallpaper in general and the red palm tree wallpaper in the hall bathroom in particular. I've heard so many horror stories about wallpaper over the years that here I am, seven years later, still living in a house with wallpaper in 3 bathrooms, 2 bedrooms and the dining room.

Amanda is about to turn 13. I've decided that it is unfair to keep a teenage girl (in a wheelchair) in a room where roller skates, baseballs and footballs circle the ceiling. So, the other day I grabbed a corner of the hideous border and pulled. Ooh! Success.  A long, ugly strip of wall paper curled away from the wall. I pulled again... an even longer strip ripped off this time. I was in paper stripping Heaven. I pulled and ripped for half an hour until all of the ugly stuff was down.

Well, almost all.

I was so proud that I dragged one of Danielle's friend's mothers into the room to show off my handiwork. I didn't realize that I had to get the white paper backing off as well until she calmly offered me her steamer to remove the rest. Oh crud.

I made a pilgrimage to local Lowe's where the clerk cheerfully informed me that I would need a scoring tool, Piranha wallpaper remover spray, a wallpaper shaver and a special sponge with a paste scrubber.  Total cost: approximately $25.00.  Okay, I had the tools. Time to go attack that ugly off-white paper.

It was fun. I made a few mistakes the first time (note to self: next time start in a corner that you can't see from the rest of the room.) Rolling the scoring tool around made a wonderful noise. I felt empowered as I watched it punch rows and swirls of tiny holes in that persistent paper backing. I sprayed the spray until the paper turned brown and the liquid ran down the walls. Then, my personal favorite, I shaved it off. It peeled off in pieces like wet felt. They fell to the floor in clumps at the base of my 6 foot ladder. I was back in Heaven.

Four hours and a few gouges later the silly white paper was lying in damp piles on the floor. Next horrifying revelation: the paint under the border doesn't  match the rest of the walls.

Crap. Now I'm going to have to paint.