Today I changed the name of my blog. Twice. I'm not sure if Blogger can keep up with me. The truth is I was trying to be something that I'm not. Well, I am, but not all the time.
Confused? Me, too! So, after trying on several new names, I've settled on "Imperfectly Possible" because it seems to fit.
Danielle has been in kindergarten for less than two weeks and I have already run face first into the new breed of ultra competitive parents. Parents whose five year old children are shuttled from school to ballet to violin lessons and then soccer practice. Kids' whose schedules are too busy for play. When did kids start needing day timers?
A childhood friend and I are both "older mothers" - meaning we had a child in our 40s. We periodically commiserate on how things have changed since our childhood way back in the black and white 1960s. If you listen to us reminisce we really were a watered down version of Brady Bunch meets Family Affair.
Some things were better back then. As kids we could play outside at night without adult supervision. In the summer we were allowed to ride our bikes miles to the nearby pond to swim . We weren't assigned homework until the fourth grade - and then our parents expected it to be our responsibility, not theirs. On the other hand, my parents took "driving beers" in the car with them on road trips and popped "tranks" (tranquilizers like Valium) before family visits. I'm sure it was easier to adopt a laissez fair attitude toward parenting while heavily medicated. Maybe the good old days weren't so perfect either.
However, there was less emphasis on children being perfect. There were kids in our neighborhood who got Cs and kids who got As. Kids who took shop and kids who went to college. As a child I didn't spend every minute at school or doing homework. I didn't have to go to Kumon or Mathnasium for extra help. Instead, after school we played outside or (heaven forbid!) watched TV.
I am so tired of the pressure we put on kids to be perfect these days. I was truly P-O'ed the other day when my 5 year old's kindergarten teacher sent home a snarky note about her inability to read. It said "Other children have already mastered this list and have moved on to the..." more advanced reading words. She'd been in kindergarten all of SEVEN DAYS when this nasty little note arrived home in her backpack.
I'm sorry. When I was in kindergarten we played outside and learned the ABCs. I wasn't expected to arrive knowing how to READ. The note then went on to say "It is imperative that...practice learning these words on a daily basis since she will be frequently tested. I suggest making flashcards to help drill the words."
My question is, if I'm responsible for teaching my child to read, what is the teacher doing with her day - filing her nails? If my child is going to be tested "frequently" I expect the teacher to TEACH her what she needs to know. Instead it appears that teachers have now become TESTERS. Their primary purpose is to inform you and your child of how deficient you are. No wonder kids have to go to these tutoring programs - the teachers have abdicated their responsibility for actually helping children learn.
So instead of my child going to school to learn she is going to school to be "frequently tested." Teachers have lost track of their true purpose. Instead they have become drill sergeants and disciplinarians, focused on tests results rather than real learning. I am sad that my child won't be allowed to make mistakes and learn from them in an uncritical environment. I am sad that she is discouraged about school after less than two weeks because her teachers have already written her off. I wonder about how this pressure and need for perfection is going to impact this generation.
I am not perfect. I don't expect my five year old to be perfect either.
Confused? Me, too! So, after trying on several new names, I've settled on "Imperfectly Possible" because it seems to fit.
Danielle has been in kindergarten for less than two weeks and I have already run face first into the new breed of ultra competitive parents. Parents whose five year old children are shuttled from school to ballet to violin lessons and then soccer practice. Kids' whose schedules are too busy for play. When did kids start needing day timers?
A childhood friend and I are both "older mothers" - meaning we had a child in our 40s. We periodically commiserate on how things have changed since our childhood way back in the black and white 1960s. If you listen to us reminisce we really were a watered down version of Brady Bunch meets Family Affair.
Some things were better back then. As kids we could play outside at night without adult supervision. In the summer we were allowed to ride our bikes miles to the nearby pond to swim . We weren't assigned homework until the fourth grade - and then our parents expected it to be our responsibility, not theirs. On the other hand, my parents took "driving beers" in the car with them on road trips and popped "tranks" (tranquilizers like Valium) before family visits. I'm sure it was easier to adopt a laissez fair attitude toward parenting while heavily medicated. Maybe the good old days weren't so perfect either.
However, there was less emphasis on children being perfect. There were kids in our neighborhood who got Cs and kids who got As. Kids who took shop and kids who went to college. As a child I didn't spend every minute at school or doing homework. I didn't have to go to Kumon or Mathnasium for extra help. Instead, after school we played outside or (heaven forbid!) watched TV.
I am so tired of the pressure we put on kids to be perfect these days. I was truly P-O'ed the other day when my 5 year old's kindergarten teacher sent home a snarky note about her inability to read. It said "Other children have already mastered this list and have moved on to the..." more advanced reading words. She'd been in kindergarten all of SEVEN DAYS when this nasty little note arrived home in her backpack.
I'm sorry. When I was in kindergarten we played outside and learned the ABCs. I wasn't expected to arrive knowing how to READ. The note then went on to say "It is imperative that...practice learning these words on a daily basis since she will be frequently tested. I suggest making flashcards to help drill the words."
My question is, if I'm responsible for teaching my child to read, what is the teacher doing with her day - filing her nails? If my child is going to be tested "frequently" I expect the teacher to TEACH her what she needs to know. Instead it appears that teachers have now become TESTERS. Their primary purpose is to inform you and your child of how deficient you are. No wonder kids have to go to these tutoring programs - the teachers have abdicated their responsibility for actually helping children learn.
So instead of my child going to school to learn she is going to school to be "frequently tested." Teachers have lost track of their true purpose. Instead they have become drill sergeants and disciplinarians, focused on tests results rather than real learning. I am sad that my child won't be allowed to make mistakes and learn from them in an uncritical environment. I am sad that she is discouraged about school after less than two weeks because her teachers have already written her off. I wonder about how this pressure and need for perfection is going to impact this generation.
I am not perfect. I don't expect my five year old to be perfect either.
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